Friday, March 27, 2009

Shopping Entanglements

Mall shopping on Earth is pure sport. First you have to find a parking spot. Then you have to remember if you parked in Winking Mickey, red row #21 or Laughing Duck, blue row 12? Next locate store. Have you ever looked at mall map? Who designs these malls? As I battle my way past pedestrians, crying babies, slow pokes & folks poking I complete the maze. I half expected some cheese as reward.  But there ahead, pass food smells, is the dress store. Bingo. I peruse through isles looking for that perfect dress. I find something. Oh, a large dress in the small section. Does that mean small is in medium section? And then, when you think there is  no hope a sizzling, slinky, paparazzi ready back dress dangles in front of you. As you go to take it off the rack a woman from nowhere appears to snatch the dress from your grasp. Instincts take over. Super Hero strength ZAPS the dress from person. Person backs away, as they see red in your eyes. As I take hanger off rack in triumph, the strap string is entangles around so tight that super kung fu skills will not untangle it. I am in battle with octupus string. Crack. The plastic hanger breaks and dress is free. I head off to dressing room with trophy in hand. 

If I Hear Poker Face by Lady Gaga 1 More time I'll...

stop what I'm doing and start da-da-da-da dancing. My dog grabs her stuffed animal that squeaks, & squeaks & squeaks. We dance to the song until next song a boring one comes on. So I go back to work. Well, how can one go to work with "pa-pa-pa-pa poker face" stuck in your head. You start to sing it and find your mumbling out loud.  Your friends start to avoid you like the plague as they are in "Gaga Anonymous" You then obsessively start to count the number of times the radio plays Lady Ga Ga's Poker Face. It dawns on you-- they play no one else! How dan radio station have 1 song. You start to feel like, "Hey, I can sing and write a easy song like that, too." You start to scribble your song; My-my-my-my job sucks and I stick my-my-my tounge out at my ba-ba-ba boss. Of course, he is not facing me. And then, he turns around and says, "When your done with your recording session get back to work." My music career is over. I mean, if boss thinks that was good then definitely over. His taste is on the dark side of awful. "Oh, no!" They're playing Poker Face again. I have to stop ba-ba-ba-ba blogging and go dance again. Squeak. Squeak.

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Los Angeles, Story Book World
Single girl, Chiffon is experiencing some dating "oh no's!" Evil Blot is causing havoc in her dating life. Does this sound like u2? Chiffon is being set up on blind dates, tall dates, miserable dates, late dates & play dates. The Trollop girl's mission is to turn a single girls uggghhh dates into oh la la dates. Write to a trollop with your dating problem. They'll write you back. xoxo. Let's rule the world.